In the “Gift of Trust” (http://bit.ly/aPvCB), I alluded to the difference between authentic trust and forensic trust. Forensic trust requires evidence before trust is bestowed on someone. You’ve probably said it before, “When so-and-so can show me they can be trusted to do _______________, then I’ll trust them.” or even “Trust has to be earned.”
Does trust have to be earned? I don’t think so. Any time a leader works with a new team he has two choices: 1) Trust them without proof. 2) Wait for proof. The one who waits for proof will run himself ragged doing all of those tasks he is unwilling to entrust to others.
Authentic trust is a choice. It is an action, a verb, and not a feeling. It requires creativity, courage, commitment and communication. Therefore, it can only be conveyed by an authentic leader.
- Creativity because you are inventing something new in a relationship.
- Only courage will allow you to declare to the team that you are willing to put yourself in their hands, knowing full well that you may be disappointed. Only courage will allow you to express your disappointment, “I am disappointed that ___________ did not happen. What can we do to make it work next time?”
- Commitment. Conveying trust is not a drive by experience where you sprinkle fairy dust, wave your wand and say “I trust you” and the next day you take it back. You are committing to the team and the individuals to stay the course and continue to convey trust when times get difficult and failures and disappointments occur.
- Communication. The recipient of your trust must be willing to accept your trust, able to perform in the way you are expecting and in agreement with the results and accountability. You can’t get there without effective communication.
As I lead various teams, my appreciation of the value of authentic trust continues to grow. As one who has been a recipient, I know it lifted me to new heights in my early 20’s. As one who tries to always convey authentic trust, I see its results in teams, friends and family. It builds up the recipient. It empowers them to explore their potential. It frees them from a fear of failure, knowing you will still continue to trust.
Best wishes for you and your teams!
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Though I have experienced and conveyed authentic trust for many years, the concept did not originate with me. These concepts were expressed 4 years ago by a dear friend, Scott Degraffenreid. For more information, you can purchase a copy of The New Art & Science of Acknowledgment by Scott Degraffenreid from www.necessarymeasures.com.
